HIJINKS FEST

12 Shows / 12 Hours / 5 People

February 7, 2015

12PM-12AM

iO Chicago

It's an honor to be mentioned

We made onto the exclusively exahaustive list of 41 things going on in Chicago in February:

http://www.timeout.com/chicago/blog/41-exciting-things-opening-in-chicago-in-february

In honor of that list here are 41 things I'd like to do this year:

Not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, go kayaking, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, not get murdered, and give my new pottery class a spin. 

This has been a tough week for me

But luckily I have the comforts of my good friend THE BOTTLE (lol) and the memories from my time as a child star.

Why can't life be as easy as it was then? Why can't I go back and be young again? Youth was the only thing that brought me happiness.

And yet I never will be young again. And therefore... well. You know.

Please drop me a line at (310) 962-3372 and I will give you $100.

Thanks Chicago City and Press

If anyone is curious about what proper press release format looks like be sure take a look at our shout out in:

http://chicago.cityandpress.com/node/8968746

Fun fact! I have Synesthesia (which means I can taste colors) if you've ever been curious here are what some of your favorite colors taste like: Red tastes like cum and so does green. Blue tastes like red mixed with pink (which tastes like green). Red mixed with green makes yellow so the taste is the combination of those and chartreuse tastes like the feeling I get when I masturbate in my uncle's clothes...